So I've been a Telewest/Blueyonder/Virgin Media customer for some years now. I've gone up the service chart from 56K modems to 10Mbps internet connections. I've been a customer through all the buy-outs and shenanigans. And only now am I pissed off. Why?

Apparently I'm getting a "free" upgrade to 10Mbps from 4Mbps by the end of this week. So is everybody else on 4Mbps. Whoop-de-doo, eh? Whoop-de-doo ....

... because as we all know, nothing is free. The price for this extra bandwidth? Traffic management.

Traffic management when done right can help a network cope with all sorts of stuff. However, in this instance, it's just a synonym for "punishment". I'm presently being "traffic managed" because I had the cheek, the shear audacity to download 800MB in a five hour period. Damn my eyes.

"But wait a minute," I hear you ask, "surely on a 4Mbps connection you could theoretically grab 9GB in a five hour period?" And you'd be absolutely right. In fact, 800MB in five hours is the equivalent of a 384Kbps connection. So much for 10Mb, eh?

And to add insult to injury, the free support line is gone. Now it's an 0906 number that costs 10p just to call it, and 25p a minute after that. And wouldn't you know it, you just can't hurry them up. I've never known support personnel speak so slowly. They must get extra commission for sounding like they wouldn't know a computer if I hit them in the face with one.

My only problem now is that they're still one of the best of a particularly bad bunch. I mourn the UK ISP industry, I really do.